Finally, a man of vision and diplomacy
In light of today's revelation of McCain's solution to all the world's problems, I present the following:
My Escape - A Short Story by John McCain
Captain John McCain lays sweating and panting in a Vietnamese bamboo prison. A savage looking man in military fatigues has his testicles and nipples hooked up to a car battery. The acrid smell of burnt flesh lingers in the stale air. "So Yank," he says, "are you ready to sing?"
Wracked with pain and tears streaming down his face, McCain watches in horror as his captor moves once again to connect the battery circuit. But as he braces for another shock, a smile suddenly spreads across his lips because, finally, he knows exactly how to escape. With a determined scowl, he quickly springs into action and bellows to the heavens, "STOP. THE. BULLSHIT!"
The VC, a cigarette dangling from his lip suddenly pauses. "I, uh," he stammers. "Oh my god, what am I doing?" His eyes soften as a single tear rolls down his cheek and onto the jungle floor. Without another word, he unclips the victorious Captain and releases him from his restraints. As McCain stands, the VC immediately drops to his knees, his head prostrate in a solemn bow. "Please," he whispers between sobs, "please forgive me."Â
McCain slowly, grudgingly uncurls his fist and lays a gentle hand upon the VC's shoulder. Though no word was spoken, his warm touch let the man know that all was forgiven. Breathless, the two grasp one another in a long embrace, as though they had been brothers all their lives.
After what seemed like an eternity of tears, the two walked hand in hand to the Ho Chi Minh's quarters.  "Hey Ho Chi," said the two. "It's all over now." The embittered leader looked from one to the other in shock, then dismay, and finally acceptance.
"Gentleman," he said. Come with me, I have something to show you." Ho Chi Minh opened a flap in the back of his tent to reveal a cotton candy machine. "It's my own special recipe!"Â
The three lay back as they stuffed their pink mouths with all the sweet candy goodness they could stand. "Wow," said McCain. "I feel like I might burst!"Â
Ho Chi Minh smiled. "Well, you better get a grip, because I have ponies! And after that we can ride the Ferris wheel. And after that, I have a big balloon that we can fly all the way to the moon! And after that..."Â
McCain's tittering giggles cut him off. "It's finally happened," he cried. "God bless us, good sirs. God bless us every one!"
The End
Comments
SWOOSH-300 million fried
Putin is hitting on Bush for Inperailism.
He said there was no reason to propose Radar Station near Prague and Missiles in Poland or Bulgaria . He gave details how trajectory of missiles from Iran or N Korea was wrong and reason was Russia.
The Pentgon admits they cannot destroy Russian missiles in flight. Only way is on LAUNCH from nearby site.Â
How will Russia react to attack on pal Iran where Russian engineers are working to complete nuclear energy plant by Sept.
SWOOSH fried americans 300 million
BURNT TOAST IN 90 MINUTES
ÂWho will sound the alarm?
ÂSecretary of Defense William Perry toured Russian Nuclear Facilities. He came away shocked.
Â200 ICBM
 Seven stories underground
Each can be quickly loaded with ten nuclear warheads
Each warhead more powerful than Hiroshima bomb
60 minutes to load—90 minutes and USA disappears from globe.
ÂTwo Top Russian Military Leaders have warned us not to Bomb IRAN their pal.
ÂWHO WILL WARN THE PEOPLE??????
ÂClarence Swinney
Political Historian
Lifeaholics of America-retired
Burlington—NC
.Â
Get two for one
Recall Hillary saying that.
Wow! What a Great Bargain! Lookie at this record.
CLINTON PRAISE--WITH PLEASURE
GDP--rose from 6300 to11,600
NATIONAL INCOME-5,000 to 8,000 Billion--
JOBS CREATEDâ€â€237,00 per month to replace Jimmy Carter record of 218,000.
AVERAGE WEEKLY EARNINGS--$360 to $478
AVERAGE WEEKLY HOURS WORKED--never hit 35.0--hit that mark 4 times in 80's
UNEMPLOYMENT--from 7.2% down down down to as low as 3.9%
MINIMUM WAGE--$4.25 to $5.15
MINORITIES--did exceedingly well
HOME OWNERSHIP--hit all time high (no big deal most can say this-except Reagan)
DEFICIT--290 Billion to whoopee a SURPLUS
DEBT----+28%---300% increase over prior 12 years by Conservatives.
FEDERAL SPENDING--+28%---+80% under Reagan- who is da true conservative?
DOW JONES AVERAGEâ€â€3,500 to 11,800 all it's history to get to 3500 and Clinton zooms it
NASDAQ--700 to 5,000---all of it's history to get to 700 and Clinton zooms it
VALUES INDEXES-- almost all bad went down--good went up in zoom zoom zoom
FOREIGN AFFAIRS--Peace on Earth good will toward each other---Mark of a true Christian--what has Bush done to Peace on Earth?
POPULARITY---highest poll ratings in history during peacetime in AFRICA, ASIA AND EUROPE . Even 98.5% in Moscow--left office with Highest Gallup rating since it was started in 1920's.
STAND UP FOR JUSTICE--evil conservatives spent $110,000,000 on hearings and investigations and caught one very evil man who took a few plane rides to events.
BOW YOUR HEADSâ€â€Ã¢â‚¬Å“Thank you God for sending us a man of Bill Clinton's character, intelligence, knowledge of governance, ability to face up to crises without whimpering and a great leader of the world. Amenâ€Â.
THANK YOU GOD FOR THE GOOD TIMES THE CLINTON YEARS.
clarence swinney-political historian-Lifeaholics of America- burlington nc
cwswinney@netzero.net
6-28-03
Would you vote for this record?
Admitted Draft Dodger
Criminal Military Deserter during wartime--Undeniable-
Criminal Cocaine snorter
Criminal Drunk
(admits in office to being a recovering drunk)
Alleged Criminal Insider Trader
Alleged adulterer
Pathological Liar (undeniable)
When asked to run for public office said -
"I don't have any qualifications to be Governor. I have never done anything. I am a product of the media"
Copycat of Hitler--
"God told me to invade to get rid of those terrorists before they attacked us"
Exact words of Bush on Iraq and Hitler on Poland.
clarence swinney
Family Values
Families--50% end in Divorce
Adultery--studies have show adultery by 60% of married men and 40% of married women.
2004 study of women separated from spouse show 45% admitting to adultery during separation.
Gay--2-6% of adults admit to being Gay.
50--60--45-40----2 to 6%
sort of lopsided virtues.
clarence swinney
Why do D sleep so much?
Stop being led by the nose thru divisive issues.
The people are most concerned with their individual Standard Of Living(sol).
D refuse to promote the many good things they have achieved for all the people.
-------------------- SHOCK & AWE------------------------
----------DEMOCRATS CREATE WEALTH AND JOBS-----------
1.From Harding In 1921 to Bush in 2003
2.Democrats held White House for 40 years and Republicans for 42.5 years.
3.Democrats created 75,820,000 net new jobs -- Republicans 36,440,000.
4.Per Year Averageâ€â€Democrats 1,825,200---Republicans 856,400.
5.Republicans had 9 presidents during the period and 6 had depression or recession.
6.Republicans had a recession/depression in 177 months and Democrats in 32 months.
7.DOWâ€â€1928 to 2003â€â€Stock market gained 11% average per year under D presidents versus 2% under R presidents. Small Cap stocks gained 18% as yearly average under D and minus 3% under R.
8.GDPâ€â€grew by 43% more under Democrats.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comparing Democrat’s hero-CLINTONâ€â€versus Republican’s hero--REAGAN
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.JOBSâ€â€grew by 43% more under Clinton.
2.GDP---grew by 57% more under Clinton.
3.DOWâ€â€grew by 700% more under Clinton..
4.NASDAQ-grew by 18 times as much under Clinton.
4.SPENDING--grew by 28% under Clinton---80% under Reagan.
5.DEBTâ€â€grew by 43% under Clintonâ€â€187% under Reagan.
6. DEFICITSâ€â€Clinton got a large surplus--grew by 112% under Reagan.
7.NATIONAL INCOMEâ€â€grew by100% more under Clinton.
8.PERSONAL INCOMEâ€â€Grew by 110% more under Clinton.
SOURCESâ€â€Bureau of Labor Statistics (www.BLS.Gov)--Economic Policy Institute (EPI.org)â€â€Global & World Almanacs from 1980 to 2003 (annual issues)
www.the-hamster.com (chart taken from NY Times)
National Archives History on Presidents. www.nara.gov
LA Times 10-11-00 on Market--www.Find articles.com
A vote for a Republican is a vote for Less Success.
A vote to reduce the Standard of Living for all Americans.
Clarence Swinney-Political Historian-Lifeaholics of America-Retired
Please submit comments to cwswinney@netzero.net or P.O. Box 3411-Burlington NC-27216
R lose big time on SOL issues.